MIND newsletter: Social illusion
Happy Saturday everyone! 😉
1. M (Challenge your mindset)
I have a friend who is very kind, lovely, and positive. An attentive and caring person she is, she often beats herself up about what she says, does, or doesn’t do. What bothers her the most is the negative energy she puts into overthinking how others perceive her, when in reality, we all love her so much.
This week, I stumbled upon an episode of the Hidden Brain podcast that started with a question: “Why is our assessment of how other people see us often so off base?” The podcast went on to discuss a concept called social illusion, which refers to the cognitive or perceptual distortions that occur within social interactions or societal structures. In simple terms, it explores the disparity between how we think others perceive us and how they actually perceive us.
Whether our impression is accurate or not, it undeniably shapes our relationships, both at home and in the workplace, as well as the decisions we make in our personal and professional lives. This led me to think: what differentiates those who utilize social illusions for self-improvement from those who allow these illusions to dominate their lives and cloud their critical thinking?
Awareness plays a crucial role here, I believe. Simply being aware that we all possess social illusions and liking gaps can be a powerful realization. Once we acknowledge the limitations of our own minds, how can we live with more humility and approach our perceptions with greater care?
2. I (I’m my own coach)
We often guard ourselves and keep so many unknown aspects about ourselves hidden, contributing further to the social illusions we create for ourselves and others. We fail to express our love for others frequently enough, withholding the compliments we have for them and not articulating our thoughts and feelings more to help others understand us.
However, it’s important to recognize that if someone doesn’t share something with you, there is a reason behind it. Grant them the space they need.
When you find yourself being swept away by the power of social illusions, try employing the STOPP technique:
S: Stop. Pause whatever you are doing or planning to do or say.
T: Take a moment and take a breath. Allow yourself the space to notice what is happening and what thoughts are running through your mind.
O: Observe your thinking, automatic thoughts, assumptions, and emotions. Also, observe how others are thinking and reacting in the situation.
P: Gain perspective. Challenge your assumptions. Is there a way to see things from a different perspective?
P: Practice. What is one thing you can remind yourself of the next time this happens?
I genuinely hope that we can be as kind to ourselves as we are to others.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. What do you think of this quote?
4. D (Do)
What is one thing you could do to be kind to yourself?
