Fit Out
At some point in life, we’ve all taken a shot at fitting in. Whether it’s in school, at work, with a group of friends, or navigating a new country and culture – consciously or not, fitting in becomes the default choice.
The fear of not being “normal” kicks in early, as if we’re supposed to be carbon copies of mom or dad. Growing up means trying to be the favorite child, favorite student, favorite friends by liking what others like. Then there’s society, at times feeling like a suffocating factory, intolerant of anyone daring to deviate from its norms. Oddly enough, enduring the pain of conformity seems preferable to the punishment for being different.
I recall a piece of wisdom from an Indigenous man, that all the truth and wisdom we need are out there in nature. It’s us, humans, who create these contradictory rules and norms. “When you’re unsure of what’s right or wrong, pause and observe nature”. In nature, no two trees or flowers are the same; they coexist, each flaunting their unique beauty. Strolling through a forest opens up your chest, relaxes your body, and widens your smile. On the flip side, there’s human creation – the industrial farm – where everything is forced to be the same, molded into a uniformity. Pollution, cruelty, and suffering become the norm here, and for some reason, that’s considered “normal“.
Making the leap from uniformity to diversity isn’t a walk in the park, unfortunately (or fortunately?). It often demands sacrifices – turning farmland into forests requires sacrificing crops, decades, or even centuries of nurturing soil and plants. But looking ahead, the result is a thriving, healthy forest that brings joy to every soul.
Our journey as humans echoes this struggle. We’re wired to be different, yet we’re plugged into a system that glorifies conformity. Until that day when we wake up and realize that fitting in has drained us, and the face staring back in the mirror seems like a stranger.
This week, as I pondered the best wish for everyone, I settled on this: I wish for a year where everyone finds the courage, love, and support to fit out – to embrace their uniqueness, stand up for themselves, and become who they truly want to be.
In the words of Mitchell from Modern Family “Finding people who don’t quite to fit in, and you start not fitting in together.”
Once you decide whether next year should be different from this year, use the two tools below for your year-end reflection:
Year Compass: It’s a beautiful, free booklet to help you reflect on the year that’s wrapping up and chart a course for the next one.
Fear Setting: Swap out the traditional goal-setting this year and give fear setting a go – it’s a structured reflection exercise designed to provide clarity in decision-making, particularly when fear is clouding your thoughts.
“Who am I becoming?” is another simple yet powerful question for you to start with.
Have fun!
